Date: March 02, 2025
Dear Mr. Happy Capitalist,
How should I acknowledge this? However, if I’m writing this letter to you then that means your presence in my life is affecting me so much that it has started to mess my emotions and sanity. And I guess, because this has become unbearable for me to handle, I’m pouring my feeling and thoughts about your temporary presence in my life in this letter.
You started affecting my thoughts about this world and how this functions the day you entered and started taking the first class of Risk Management. The first thing that I noticed ever since you entered into the class was your sharp honey-colored eyes with dark long-lashes fanning over those eyes. Yes, I clearly remember as those eyes were the first to entice me into fully concentrating towards you. Then your life story and personal experiences about your work, everything started to make a place of its own somewhere in the back of my mind, somehow. Why is it so? When you told me that I need to adapt a capitalist mindset to survive in the corporate world and emerge as a successful personality, it got me into thinking for several days in the rows…about you, the way you explain something or the way you talk to someone in general, everything. That day, I realized why they say that confidence and charisma come from having a deep knowledge of whatever you’re saying or talking about.
And this is the feeling of every weekend or whenever I have
to attend your classes. Somewhere, down the 3-4 months, I got into this vicious
cycle of admiring you then comparing myself to you then berating myself that I
don’t even have an ounce of qualities that you have…so how will you notice me! Am
I attracted toward you? I guess, yes. Is it inappropriate? Definitely yes! How
long will I keep beating myself about it? No more as I’m tired now. Damn,
tired! Yes, I wish to improve myself as I know that there’s a lot of things in
the financial world about which I know nothing of. And I’m improving myself every
day. But I’ve realized one thing in this process that I don’t wish to do all these
things just so that you can notice me. No, not at all. I will continue to work
on myself and my knowledge for my future self…for my better self. Your presence
feels overwhelming now.
Hence, I’m letting go of whatever this is I’m feeling for you.
I can’t go on like this. I needed to stop somewhere before it’s too late,
right? So, I’m stopping right at this moment. I know this is not going to be
easy process when I’ve to face you every weekend and hear your voice which
attracted me at the first place every second day. But something is better than
nothing, right? One thing I’m amazed with myself is that you’re not my type at
all then how come my heart got attracted toward you…that I’ll never know, I
guess. However, this attraction is also the sole reason of why is it in somewhat
pain and confusion right now. Thus, I’m putting an early end to this. To save
me a potential heartache and emotional imbalance. You’re one of the persons I’ll
always admire in my life but it’ll be till that point only. Nothing more than
that. And yes, I do not want any closure for this. As this was from my side and
only, I can provide myself a closure. And this letter is my closure.
With this, I wish you a great future ahead and may we never
cross paths in this life ever again after my course ends. And if we ever cross
paths again, may it be without the weight of these emotions...just two people
having a good conversation before moving on once more.
With a sincere heart,
Professor Rose
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